Just sometimes, only sometimes

I've been wanting to write this post, and equally, not wanting to write this post. But me being me, and me having a blog, and me feeling like this is where I am most comfortable talking about these sorts things, means, well, I'm just going to do it. 

So here goes.....

I cried. So many times, when I was back home. Sure, the tears came out after my fair share of the devil's water (cue bubbly/vino) but I don't cry. And sometimes I think that's when we all say what is really stuck there beneath the layers of social bravado that we're all so good at projecting. Me especially. I've always been a coper. Never overtly needed much help, or support, or a shoulder to cry on. I was just always....fine. 

So it was a big thing for me to blubber like a mad woman on one too many occasions to my poor friends about how miserable I was. Miserable I am not. But I miss my friends and my family. I do. I miss them. And that makes me sad. And being there, at home, with them all for two whole weeks showed me just how much. I miss the comfort. The lack of a need to try. The history. The security. The laughs. Sweet jesus we laugh. I miss the banter. And the singing. I miss singing the Baywatch theme song. And dancing to Beyonce in the living room. The D&Ms. I miss the tap on the bum or the lazy hug in the kitchen. I miss knowing that they know everything about me. That we shared so many good times and hard times together. That we've lived in other countries together, travelled together, been hung over together, eaten Dirty Bird together. That we've grown into who we are today together.  I miss sitting down to a good meal with them, one that we've prepared, together. I miss knowing everything about them. The details of their lives. I miss evolving with them. 

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my new friends. And I do not for one minute regret moving here, because they are brilliant people. But this city is hard. It's fast, it's busy, it smells, it's intense, it's hilly (so annoying), it's hard core. It's not relaxing. It's not good for the soul. The experience, maybe. But the city, not so much. And I think I've found adjusting to it, the move, the unemployment, the loneliness, the city, harder than I've actually let on, to myself or to anyone else. There goes that good old social bravado again. It's just that I really really really don't want to be that person. I don't want to be that person that isn't embracing this opportunity. I don't want to be that cup-half-empty person. I don't want to be that person that isn't happy. I don't want to be that person that wants to be somewhere else. 

But alas, for the time being, unfortunately for my self-conscious ego, I think I might actually sometimes (god I hate saying this) be that person. Just sometimes. Only sometimes. And I think I need to let myself be. I need to let myself be sad or lonely or whatever it is that I feel. Because that's the reality of what I'm facing. And things aren't always easy. And aren't always as footloose and fancy-free as they seem. And change is hard. Bloody hard. And I'm allowed to not be OK, just sometimes.....aren't I? 

Culburra Beach bliss

So you know how amazing the wedding was, because I'm sure you popped over to visit BabyMac yesterday. Didn't you? And that's really where you'll need to go for photos as my dear husband somehow managed to arrive at the wedding with all of 2% battery in the camera. Meaning it died before bride, bridesmaids or any wedding like activity actually took place. Brilliant. Moving right along.

What I do have to share with you are some images of the incredible beach house we stayed at for 4 days over the wedding period. I'm a Central Coast veteran but have not spent much time on the South Coast over the years so the chance to spend some time down there was incredible.

Phil and I arrived on Thursday afternoon after a beautiful drive down, pulled up, opened the front door and proceeded to O.M.G our way around the house as the haven of goodness that was ours for the next 4 days unfolded before us! It was called Driftwood (poetic, no?) and was just a lazy few metres from Culburra Beach, which I have to say is one of the most beautiful, quiet, picturesque beaches I've ever been to. And I've been to a lot of beaches. We got the house ready for the arrival of some of our best friends that night and then wandered down the beautiful golden stretch of sand that beckoned our company. I was mesmerized by the whole thing. Still am to be honest.

Take a peek....

It was the most beautiful of weekends in the most beautiful of places with the most beautiful of friends. Couldn't have asked for a better way to finish my Australian love affair.....

Sigh.

ps. I've 'joined' Twitter and I'm scared. There's a little button thing over on the right that will take you right to me if you're so inclined. Any help, advice, support is more than welcome. I feel waaaaay out of my depth with it!


pps. Thanks for all the great comments on the makeover! 

Blog makeover!

I've had a makeover!!! A bit of botox, a filler here, some lipo there, a lift where god knows I needed one and wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, this is the result!!! And I'm as pleased as a triple chinned, saggy-breasted, droopy-eyed woman who's looked in the mirror for the first time after $100,000 of surgery and seen a dead ringer for Megan Fox staring back at her! Foxy? Well yes, yes this little blog is.

I LOVE it to bits! And I have Megan from The Stockport Hotel to thank for making me feel all foxy-like. She was a delight to work with and made little old Tales of a Tai Tai exactly what I wanted her to be. Stylish, simple, elegant. So if you're thinking of a bit of BLOTOX, head on over to see Megan - she will have your blog looking a million dollars in no time!

Now, apart from that very exciting news, I have SO much to catch you up on. I arrived back from Sydney yesterday morning after 2 weeks of what was a glorious, unadulterated, intense affair with my home town of Sydney. I fell in love, and I fell hard. I know I've always known how good the place was but after my time in this overwhelmingly sense-intense Hong Kong, the beauty of the place was even more obvious. No botox needed there, that's for sure. On top of the city itself, I got the chance to have some proper, quality time with my family and friends. The wedding of 2011 that I've been alluding to for so long was just that. Incredible! BabyMac has posted some amazing pics. Head on over here to have a squiz. Check out the classic shot of us bridesmaids doing our best Blue Steel (I'm on the far right of the pic). Love it! We stayed in the most incredible house at Culburra Beach while we were there and over the next few days I'll put up some pics!

Sorry for the radio silence of the past week. I have missed you intensely and will be sure to bombard you lovely readers from now on with all things Tai Tai, now that I'm all....well....foxy......

What do you think of my new look?

Nobody does it better

I'm sitting in a cafe, staring out at the unobstructed royal blue sky dominating the landscape in front of me. The sun has been on my neck and my forearm for the past 20 minutes as I've been pottering away on my favourite piece of machinery. Frank is playing in the background and I've got this heavenly combination in front me. Could it get any better?

Like a good red wine...

Photo care of WeHeartIt

...they only get better with age. My friends that is. I caught up with two of them yesterday. Individually. Coffee and dinner. And holy hell, they just keep getting better and better. They keep blowing my mind, keep inspiring me with what they are achieving, with their approach to life, with what they're getting through, what they're coping with.

There is something quite amazing about history. Sharing memories. Having a connection that can't be broken. What makes having that history even better, for me anyway, is when that bond just keeps getting stronger, as the days, months and years flow by. And I don't think it always does. Not with everyone. And that's bound to happen. We change. I've certainly changed, in more ways than I would ever have imagined. And sometimes our paths take us in different directions, away from our starting point, from where we began. Being away for so long has forced me to understand the reality of that. But these two friends? These two amazing people feel like anchors in my life. Like no matter which direction we take, we are inextricably linked.

And in my years away from home, living a distant and separate life, these people have always been by my side. A constant heartbeat. It doesn't matter how much we call. Or how much we email. Or text. It simply doesn't matter how many kilometres are between us. What matters is that we get each other. They get me. I get them. And I know they will be there. Always. And I hope they know I will always be there for them. They make me a better person, and bring out the best in me, make me the person I want to be.

One said to me last night, "There are good-time friends, and good friends. We all need to work out which friends are which".

Well, you two? You two awesome, inspiring, talented, sensational people? You know who you are. You're not good-time, or even good.

You are purely and simply great. 

For the love of the frangipani

One thing I LOVE about Sydney, is the abundance of Frangipani trees. I have a thing for them. A real thing. A love thing. In my first job out of uni every day, without fail, on my walk from the car to the hospital, I would pass a frangipani tree. And every day, without fail, I'd pick up a freshly fallen frangipani from the ground, smell it, and smell it, and smell it, and smell it some more. And because I couldn't bear to let go of it, I'd put it in my hair. Every day.

I came across this tree in Bondi the other day, and did exactly the same thing. It was a reflex. I did it without thinking. I love those moments. So natural, so instinctive, so comforting.

I'm grateful for that instinct, that memory, that smell, that tree.

Head on over to Maxabella's to see what other people are grateful for today.

Harry high pants

I love a high waisted pant. After many a breton top, it would have to be my next most purchased article of clothing. As I've either grown out of (as in wider, not older), or lost interest in earlier versions currently in my wardrobe, and have little-to-no chance of landing a pair of anything that comes remotely close to my ankles or my waist in Honkers, I decided that it would only be fair, to me and the unsuspecting saleswomen of Asia, to say yes to what Sydney has to offer in the high-waisted pant department. I didn't actually intend to find a pair but when you stumble into Bettina Liano and stumble into a good saleswoman who stumbles you into a pair of high-waisted midnight skinny jeans that actually fit all 6ft of you and are soooo comfortable, you're hardly going to argue, are you.

I wish I could say that I'm into the high-waist because its trendy. Fashion forward. You know, cool. And I think a high-waist is cool. Classic cool. Lady-like cool. But I have to say, the primary reason for me is the comfort. Jeans, trousers, skirt, shorts, anything. Comfortable-cool. I don't know if a high waist is even trendy anymore. And to be honest, I don't care. It is in my books and I'll happily ride that trend wave from 2008 for a few years to come. That's cool isn't it? Not caring what's cool? Anyway, cool-schmool. Bring on the comfort. And the instant high-waist cover up of all manner of potentially offensive pant faux pas'. Think hideous overhang/muffin top/love handle (did someone say pet hates?). Anything that has the power to cover up what should be jailable offences has to earn some fashion points, does it not?

From one google search and subsequent reliable fashion website, it seems there's a bit of debate out there about whether a high-waist is a fashion classic or just a bad trend. That's what I'm extrapolating from my very extensive search anyway. You obviously know what I think.

Wordless Wednesday - A Walk

Just a cheeky coastal walk on a Wednesday morning.......

Bondi to Bronte... you are the most heavenly coastal walk. I actually swore more times than I should have out of pure disbelief at what lay before me.

If you live in Sydney or if you're ever visiting Sydney, make sure you do this walk. It will change your life. It changes mine every time.


Head over to Faith, Hope and a Whole Lotta Love for more Wordless Wednesday posts.

Because I LOVED my wedding day....

All this talk of weddings of late has made me reminisce about my own big day, just 5 months ago. I gave you a sneak peak here, remember? It's crazy how quickly a wedding comes and goes. All that thought, preparation, stress, excitement, anxiety, and anticipation builds and builds and builds and then.......poof. It's over. Just like that.

We got married on October 16th, 2010 at Robert's restaurant in the Hunter Valley. If anyone is planning a wedding, I would highly highly highly recommend it. Beautiful venue, beautiful gardens, beautiful food. Just plain beautiful. It was a freezing cold and rainy sort of day, until about an hour before the ceremony, when the rain dried up, the clouds moved away and the streaming sunlight took over. I'm not sure if it was just my love-drunk emotional state but everyone who shared the day seemed to be as happy as we did, and that in itself kept the smile on my face. There was so much laughter. Some because it was the only way to keep ourselves warm, but most because it was by far and away, the best day of our lives.

Since I've been back in Sydney, the family's been dying to see all the professional shots that came through a few months ago back in Hong Kong. I thought that maybe some of you lovely people out there in blogland wouldn't mind having a squiz yourself.....so here it goes......

So....there it is. Our wedding. Wasn't it great?! I sure thought so.... 

As I said earlier, these special days in our lives just pass by far too quickly. Sometimes we need to be reminded to slow down, smell the roses, and remember those amazing times that truly define us. Thanks for strolling down memory lane with me xx

ps. Speaking of weddings, two of our dearest new friends in Hong Kong just got engaged on the weekend while they were visiting for a wedding here in Sydney! They are the most brilliant, beautiful couple who have welcomed us with open arms and been such great friends since we moved to Hong Kong and we are SO SO happy for them! Congratulations Shoey and Alex!!!!