There's a lot of shit going down in my world at the moment. Not directly to me, but to a lot of people I love. Some of it's really private stuff, marriage stuff, some it's really life-threatening stuff, cancer stuff, and some of it is really bloody scary, very-close-call accident stuff (BabyMac wrote about this one).
When shit goes down, it's bad. When shit goes down and you're half way around the world? It becomes a different kind of bad that those that have lived far away from home will know all too well.
You aren't there to be an everyday support. To drive people around, cook dinners, make beds.
You aren't there for hospital visits, home visits, any visits.
You aren't there to be a friend. To lend an ear, a shoulder, your heart.
You just aren't there.
You aren't there at a time when you know you could help.
You aren't there at a time when all you want to do is be a friend.
You aren't there at a time when your whole body and self is screaming to be there.
I feel helpless and hopeless at the moment, because I'm not there for these people I love so dearly.
I'm just not there.
12 comments:
I understand completely - and empathise just as much.
xxx
I remember getting an email from a dear friend in London at breakfast time in May 2010 - having been in Singapore for one month - and I had to just sit down on the cool of the kitchen floor and weep. Because I wasn't there, and there was nothing practical I could do or say to help. And then lie to my daughter that I'd hurt my arm, because you can't explain brand-new-Mum cancer to a three year old. One of the lowest moments ever. Sending you hugs.
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Oh Bridget, I know exactly how you feel. My closest Nanny died when I was on a plane back to Oz from a visit to the UK. I arrived back home (in Sydney) to the awful news and was devastated - there was no way I could go back again with Oliver around and so missed that whole part of saying goodbye to her. It was really tough and I've never felt so far away. I think those types of instances were why we decided to go back to England in the end. It's so tough being an expat sometimes. Thinking of you xx
When we first got back to Sydney only 5 months ago my grandpa died and so did my sisters father in law. I can honestly say I think being so far away made it a couple of the hardest months of my life. This post really touched me but what you can do is offer emotional support on the phone skype and text u still feel helpless but I think or does help the people so far away. Be brave take care el x
But you will be. You will be soon and that support that you give when you are here AND even when you are so far away is support that no one else can give at the moment and THAT is everything. You and your knowledge and you knowing the right thing to say, the medical advice, the understanding that no one else has is so much comfort. The little bundle of joy that brings so much happiness to everyone just seeing him is so much. YOU coming home leaving that supportive husband when its not as easy as it was before you had a baby means SO much to EVERYONE! I know its hard but we all LOVE YOU no matter how far away you are and know that you would do anything to help xxxx
Oh darlin', I can hear the anguish and hurting in your words. I can completely understand how you must be feeling. There is nothing worse than not being able to be in reach of those you love so dear. Sometimes for them, just knowing how much you deeply care is enough though. Big hugs xoxo
I have been there Bridget having spent most of 10 years abroad, and then when I settled back home most of my close friends and even my Mum moved away! It's moments like you mention that make it the most difficult.
Chin up. xo
Send them some lovely mail, I know it is not the same, but it will help a little. Can you make some hand prints or foot prints of your bub to send them as little "I love you, I miss you, thinking of you" cards?
I feel your pain, as my Grandma in Australia is losing the will to live, and wont talk on the phone anymore, and all I want to do is hear her voice and give her a hug (we live in HK too)
Super lovely blog!
xoxo,
colormenana.blogspot.com
Oh hun, thinking of you at this tough time.
Ive been there, it's hard. My cousin passed away when I was living in Singapore and I didn't go home for her funeral. It was so hard being away from the family at that time.
I used to skype with my family weekly. Emails, parcels in the post, letters, postcards, these things all helped.
And worst case? Home is only 10 hours away.
xx
Oh god I know this feeling only too, too well. I hope you're OK - you have my total sympathy!! XXX
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